10/23/2018 0 Comments PLAY BALLI spent this past weekend blessed to be a presenter at a prestigious conference. Then I came home and saw the Eagles pregame and post game scuffle. This weekend I was blessed to be the only student presenter at a African-American Conference in Harrisburg. Due to my addiction, I have not been in these educational settings in a very long time. I forgot how these games and systems are played. My walk of life has me walking into treatment centers where people are fighting for their life. There is no situation where I can afford to be racist because I am dealing with trying to save souls. I do realize that in the 1980(s) African-Americans were sent to jail based on crack addiction rather than given the treatment that these Caucasian suburban teens are offered. I realized at a young age that the world is slanted. However, my walk of life has made me care about all people regardless if I wanted to. The CEO(s) and heads of these companies would have not have met me in any other setting but because I bring value to helping them save lives they care for me. The world is an ugly business but that is the reality. This conference awakened me to how this upper management in life works. Let me break this down. For some reason there is a sector of African-Americans who hold the keys to the doors that they younger generation cannot get into. Some of the people I met basically made it clear that if I wanted their help I had to "play ball." What they fail to realize is that is the same mindset we hate from the upper management of whites. I think it is calling the kettle black. If you know that the world is slanted and we are trying to get to where you are why would you not make that road easier? Why are you so rotten o the core that helping your own kind turned evil. They fail to realize that I have been blessed to start my own LLC and I do not need to play ball. I am going to make it regardless they help or not. No matter how much I get paid they reality is I am helping to save souls. When a mother or kid tells me thank you for helping me not to die, no money can surpass that feelings. I do not care about my status in life I care only to use that status to save lives. People forget we are only here for 100 years if we are lucky, then what? Being a Christian my morals come before any job. Lets transition that to this jenkins vs eric reid situation. I am on eric reid side of this because that is how I am morally built but that does not mean jenkins is a bad person. I would rather not take the help from the NFL and build our own bridges for what kapernick cause is. Rather than to take their help and have to play ball to get their help. I have recently had to start making a choice of calling people back that have keys to doors I cannot open or try a different route. HONESTLY, this came natural to me that the choice is i will figure it out. There is such a great feeling of knowing I do not have to play ball and I can make it. I was homeless, begging for change, dumpster diving and smelled like pee. Why on God's earth would I come this far from that type of pain to simply play ball. I wish I could ask Harriet Tubaman and Dr King if they wanted us to play ball with each other. Or if they wanted us to be different from the hell we been put through. Yes, I date a white women who is my soul mate that I love dearly. She taught me how my biases in life hold me back. I could not believe she had a Harriet Tubman book in her library collection. We have both attended the African-American Museum both wearing Harriet Tubman shirts. We love souls rather than skin. It hurts to know that people put their lives on the line and we went through 100 of years of slavery only to make each other play ball. I believe that Jenkins wants to help people and see African-Americans succeed. I also believe he felt that he would rather get something than to get nothing. He had his organization funded and capitalized off the situation. That organization will also help kids who would have otherwise never received the help. They both have the same goals just different ways of going about it. The truth is treat people like you want to be treated. In slave times I would have been the salve that ran but that is because of how I am built. I am cut from the cloth of fighting but not everyone is. The real questions is: don't we all have to play ball? I think it comes down to where do you draw the line. The truth is the NFL cuts both of their checks, so who really won?
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10/12/2018 6 Comments Midterm Reflection VlogThis vlog is strictly about my thoughts on the class. What I have learned, challenges, and what I want to gain out of the class. I found this way of giving my thoughts to be very enlightening because I have to be seen. It is much easier to talk through words than it is to show a face. This is the first time I was ever ask to submit an assignment likes this and it truly made me think. This is just another example of how the class has challenged me which I point to in this video. This is my honest assessment of English Compostion II.
10/12/2018 1 Comment Found Poem of my Narrative ProjectThis is a clear vision of how my unaddressed issues ended up causing one of the worst nights of my life. Regrets is a title worth a thousand words due to the way I treated my mother. This scene tells the story of the man I used to be. SECTION 1: Free-form excerpting and remixing I keep ignoring her rules and creating my own, Feeling like the whole world owe me something, Outside I am productive man but inside this soul is a trash can, It feels all worth it when the Bacardi got me in a zone, Toast to a good night nervous as hell, But this blonde chic perfume got me feeling cool as hell, Stumble out the club with her laughing at life, Don’t even realize shit going to be real tonight, Marijuana smoke got my eyes all teary and feels like the best high I ever had, Jay feeling it got me swingin shots and kissin at the light, Bang! Bang! I am drunk again! But this time the apology has gotten too thin, And to make matters worse its cold as ice, And my momma got the police line waiting on ice, “Are you Frederick?” I am thinking hell no, Shit to be real I do not need a damn p.o., Public drunkness cost money plus I don’t want steel doors like mine, Throw my mother right under the bus and say she being weird, But I never tell her part of the story of why she is scared, Instead, I laugh at her and bring up all bad things about her, From her mental illness struggles even to how she held me back in life, I keep spitting cause the lies can't come out quick enough, I slur and stumble over words trying to be educated, Truth be told I am worried about where I will sleep, But my anger keeps crushing her spirit verbally Leaving her to weep. As the night grows longer, my toes grow colder, My hands are ashy and not classy, I take exception to the smell of Baracdi from my breathe in the air, Only if I had one more shot to keep warm, Instead I am going to need a place to stay warm. I shift my focus and try again, But the hot tea, packers blanket, and music in my momma’s house is not meant to be, “Son lets take it in for the night,” Deep voice rang louder than anything that night, Firm grip locked on my elbow, I had to realize take it in or risk taking it to jail, “Do you have a friend to call,” Police waiting on an answer, Suddenly I am pacing back and forth quickly thinking of numbers to call, I look up every blue moon, waiting for the miracle of my momma, The reality has set in and that black door will not open to a lady in black dreadlocks, I get humble and make a dreadful phone call, My headache is so severe I feel the pain in my temples, This dry mouth mixed with the breath Is a clear sign that I am a hot mess. My stomach is queasy and I can hardly see But man I need water to make this day start easy. My heart feels like its about to come out my chest My dear friend offers coffee to put me to rest. I smell the eggs cooking on the stove and I know the shower is next, But before we do any rest, He has got words I need to hold tight to the vest. Section II: Reflection Do you think the narrative provides enough descriptive language to create a compelling found poem? Do you think the descriptive language more so creates a setting or delivers the subtext of a theme? In revision, will you focus on using description to develop more of the setting or more of a theme? 1. It's not how you start, it's how you finish- High School football coach 2. I look up to the people others look down on- Chinese Proverb 3. Life and death are in the tongue- Proverbs 4. To whom much is given, much is required- Luke 5. They say I take everything emotional, but honestly I do not see any other way to take it.- Women's Daily Devotional 6. People who cannot forgive are weak- Mother Theresa 7. An eye for any eye makes the whole world blind- Mahatma Gandhi 8. Some people are so poor all they have is money- Unknown 9. The love of money is the root of all evil- Proverbs 10. Be the change in the world you want to see- Mother Theresa 11. The more I find myself, the more people I lose- Unknown 12. The time is always right to do what is right- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr 13. With money if you save me now, I save you later- Unknown 14. After your first million the hamburger taste the same- Bill Gates 15. You throw mud I throw fruit- Unknown 16. Stop judging your life by your pain and judge it by what the good book says- Pastor 17. Only way to survive is to learn to live with regrets- Shawn Carter 18. Raise a child in the way he should go and when they are older they will not depart- King James Bible 18. If I die tomorrow I can finally sleep well because of the man you have become- My mother For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief- Proverbs That last quote has been the story of my life. The reason i have that picture up there is because I can relate to that and when I see that I see the other side. That man may be homeless today but in a year he could be college educated with a company. Due to what I have overcame in life I see hope in what most do not. 10/10/2018 0 Comments Parenting 101Accountable Parenting 101 “Today, I began the task of writing condolence letters to the victims’ families. It was so hard, but it’s something I must do. From the heart of one mother to another,” Excerpt from A Mother’s Reckoning, Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy, Sue Klebold the Mother of Dylan Klebold who was one of the shooters of the Columbine school shooting. That may be the highest form of parental accountability this world will ever see. The parental aspect of accountability plays a pivotal role in a child’s overall development. Throughout this essay, we will examine statistical information on critical factors in a child’s life and how those correlate to parents being more accountable to their children. All parents in this world, are responsible for upholding high standards in the home on education, health, and financial literacy. The greatest reward of parenting is that parents are given a chance to avoid all the mistakes they have made, and help to enhance the levels of health for their offspring. As a country, we are facing an obesity epidemic in our youth. One of the first issues Michelle Obama tackled as First Lady, was to change the rules of WIC (Women, Infants, and Children). She made it so that healthier foods were mandatory in substitute for sugary foods. The whole key to making a substantial change in the epidemic is in the home. When do I see a child, who is overweight eating things that are unhealthy it makes me wonder why and how? I have always been told numbers do not lie. The percentage of children with obesity in the United States has more than tripled since the 1970s.1 Today, about one in five school-aged children (ages 6–19) has obesity. Those stats come courtesy of the CDC’s website on childhood obesity. When the ice cream truck’s music blast throughout the neighborhood, kids run to it as if it is Christmas. What if a group of parents began a vegetable or fruit truck company? As parents, we need to ask ourselves if we are instituting a regular diet of healthy foods along with proper exercise or are we contributing to the adverse health of the children in our society? We must realize that obesity affects a child’s self-esteem which plays into so much more profound issues that can easily lead to drug dependency, co-Dependent, unhealthy relationships, and overall lack of motivation for life. How can we blame these millennia for their obesity problems if we are not accountable, for their health? I believe as we become healthier as a society, then the hunger for knowledge will begin to creep in. Knowledge is power. Imagine if there were government policy that mandated, and checked parents having reading requirements in their home. Think about how powerful this world may be if reading for every child was required. In 2017, U.S. News and World Report released a top ten listing of countries with the highest test scores of students. The United States ranked seventh out of the top ten. One may say what the problem is? Well, the key ingredient in that is America was the wealthiest of all the top ten countries. It made me ask myself how we can be the most affluent country but not testing the best? My Sunday school class laughed at the notion of a library card and said get with the times of Google. I then asked how many people have a library card and only two of the 15 students did. However, if you ask all the students the newest songs, music videos, electronic devices they can vocalize knowledge of that verbatim off the top of their brain. As parents, I feel we need to change the priorities of education in the homes. We need to start being more accountable for what the youth are digesting in their brain and how they are prioritizing education. If a child can sing the newest song on the radio, can work the latest iPhone, and can successfully crush the latest video game, then why can’t we stress that significance for education? When a child is held back in school or is not achieving up to his/her potential, how much accountability must the parent take if they had not developed a plan of requiring them to read a certain number of books per month, demanded they learn a certain amount of new words a month? How much are we asking those children to learn outside of the classroom? I remember asking my mother why I had to go the library on Friday nights instead of going to the movies with all the other kids; she merely said I do not care if you see the latest movies or have fun with your friends. I care about how many books you can read. Friends come and go; knowledge lasts forever. Why are we relying strictly on the education system to teach our children? If you want to hold certain positions in this world, education is what will get you there, but that must begin in the home with parents being more accountable. “Money is the God of our time, and Rothschild is his prophet.” That is an expert from the House of Rothschild Money Prophets documentary. The richest people do not live paycheck to paycheck; they live on consistent investments. I recently cleaned up my credit and was allotted my first credit card. I ask myself, “Would I rather live like a prince forever, or like a king for a day?” I realized that growing up I had a perspective on money that was completely distorted. Whenever I would get paid, I would buy things with no value instead of thinking how to invest for later goals. I hear many parents say they have no credit and are financially struggling. Then I look at their children and see the newest I-phones, sneakers, clothing, and they have all the latest video games. The National Financial Educators Council published a survey in 2017 that stated among young adults between the ages of 18-24 fifty-one percent said they would benefit the most from a money management class in high school. As parents, we need to re-shift what we consider valuable and focus on how we can teach our children financial literacy that will help future generations. Generational poverty has a greater chance to be upended with more parents being accountable for healthy economic behavior and literacy. How many times have you thought to yourself, if I could be sixteen years old again, I would do this differently? I believe we need to change the priorities of parenting from what the children have into what they know, regarding education, health, and financial knowledge. We need to stress the importance of applying that as a lifestyle, rather than to acquire new fads. The blessing of being a parent is that you can teach lessons from all the mistakes you have made and gave your child a better chance at life. In my heart of hearts, I believe being an accountable parent is an overall mindset. I was fortunate growing up that many Christmas holidays I spent feeding the homeless and not opening gifts. I was sometimes punished by being told to read two books and write a paper about them, or being subject to longer punishment. I was forced to take multiple vitamins, play sports, and instruments which fit into a physically healthy lifestyle. I have been in a parental role for over 15 years now, and life has shown me the measure of intelligence is not making the same mistakes twice. I made a ton of mistakes my first- time parenting, as my maturity has substantially grown so has my parenting. I recently purchased two biographies of business for my step-daughters’ birthday. I told her, if you want to own a business then you need to read up on how to run one. As parents, we need to take a hard look in the mirror at ourselves and asking are we happy with the state of the world? Are we children raising children. Imagine the powerful change that would occur, if ever parent treated their child as the next inventor or Doctor who can cure diseases? I ask myself does my home represent an environment that promotes education, health, and financial literacy or am I setting my children up to be future statistics? 10/4/2018 1 Comment The ForgottenI wish I could take a survey and ask brides walking down the isle if they are prepared to be a single parent mother with divorce. Most people do not get married with the plan to be a single parent having gone through divorce. You get married with the intention of dying with that person. We live in a country where the love of money has become the root of evil. This blog is not to give that a platform this blog is to give praise to the single parents of this world. I was recently as a drug court graduation in Bucks County. The Judge was the same judged that presided over the Cosby trial. He stated, "We always celebrate someone graduating college or winning a championship. However we should praise someone changing their life and adjusting to that change." I will never forget that because it had me take a look at my own life. My mother was a single parent in recovery whose income was that of a social worker. My family always looked at her as stupid for marrying my father and judged every decision she made with me. I did the same thing until I changed my own life and now can appreciate the hard work in that. Tiger Wood's wife after the divorce proceedings said no matter how much money she got it can NEVER bring her family back together. When I was raising my first family I remember how each day when I dropped the kids off how many single parent mothers were there. It blew my mind to think that a generation of children are being raised by single parents. I changed my life and there are certain skills that I did not realize I had until I faced these hardships. I truly believe that if I would have been raised by two parents it would have done me a disservice. My life went to the life so much that two parents would have not given me the skills I needed when life got hard. A single parent must weigh every decision with long term consequences. They cannot look at the good of a decision they must realize the negative and can they come back from that. There is no other brain that they can bounce of off that is blood. Trusting decisions about your child cannot come from anywhere. Unless you have a fountain of money you must also be willing to sacrifice. I know a single parent mother who works as a manager at McDonald's that takes her children to Disney for a week every year. I asked her how she did it and she said budgets and sacrifice. She said she makes sure her kids look neat and proper. Warm in the winter and cool in the summer. How many single parents go without so that their children have what they want. How many night outs do they wish with the girls so they can read to their children. Instead of looking at them as failures from a divorce maybe we need to realize they are incredibly strong people who can adjust to any situation in life. This may sound crazy but truth be told I believe some people are better parents as a single parent. I do believe two brains are better than one but what if those brains are on two different pages. It is easy to say how someone should have chosen their partner better, but be careful of judgement. Ask yourself could you be a productive single parent? And remember that word single parent is loaded. I will go to my grave believing most people would fold under that type of pressure. You got $500 left for the month and you have no food, cable bill is due and so is the electric. The decision is on you and the consequences will be felt by your children. Never judge another person until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Single parents are the forgotten gems in this world. I think we all should respect and honor what they accomplish each day. They do not receive the awards or accolades, but truth is their are the back bone to a majority of this country. I tip my hat to all single parents and I am thankful that is how I grew up. You are NEVER forgotten I my eyes.
10/2/2018 3 Comments Composing a Past Scene: Part TwoWe are going to jump right into a significant turning point in my life. The scene will be raw, vivid, and show me in a very negative light. I want the reader to be able to sense the immaturity and sickness of my mind during that period of my life. To understand this blog is to understand the depths of growth I have been blessed to achieve. “Open the door, its cold out shit. I understand your rules; I just had a good night. This woman got me out here like I am crazy.” BANG! BANG! “How many times do I have to apologize, I said I am sorry to let me in!” I can still taste the Bacardi on my lips, and honestly, I need another shot to feel warm. A car door slams and says, “Are you, Frederick?” I hesitate to answer because I smell like marijuana smoke and liquor. The last thing I need is to get arrested for public drunkenness. “Yes, my mother is just being a little weird, and I am trying to get into my house.” My mother unlocks the steel bolted the door and softly tells the officers, “I am afraid of him, and he is no longer allowed here.” In a fit of anger, I begin laughing at her in front of the police. I tell them all about her mental illness and how she has held me back in life. Twice I spit because I am slurring my words and I am trying to look educated. You can see my breath in the air, and it is a cloud of Bacardi breath. I feel like I have frostbite in my toes and my hands are ashy as snow. As I am crushing her spirit verbally, I am also worried about where I will sleep. Deep down I would love nothing more than to lay on my bed and sleep. All I can think about is a cup of hot tea, my warm packers blanket, and listen to music. I feel this strong grip on my elbow, and a deep voice says, “Son lets take it in for that night. Do you have a friend you could call?” Suddenly my drunken state of mind and happiness quickly sober up. I begin pacing back and forth on the porch shaking my head. I look up every blue moon to see if my mother will come back to the door, but it seems so far from reality. I keep thinking that all black door will soon open up to a lady in black dreadlocks. I finally realize I have to get humble and make a dreadful phone call. My headache is so severe when I wake up I feel pain in my temples. I have a dry mouth with the worst breath imaginable. My stomach is entirely queasy and I am walking around looking for water. My heart feels like it is going to fall out my chest. I am living a dangerous life and I truly need help. All this started because I refused to listen to the rules and address my issues. TELLING SECTION: To the naked eye one may think my Mother is coldblooded. Well the truth is she never kicked me out because I put myself out. Due to the fact that I did not want to abide by her rules I dealt with the consequences of those actions. She was in recovery and for many years has lived a positive life. My job as a son was to provide strength and assistants to help her. We were supposed to be a team both on the same page. However, I was very immature and I still wanted to drink. I was not ready to deal with my issues so my issues ended up dealing with me. I risk my shelter and lively hood all because I wanted to do what I wanted. I pushed her to make one of the hardest decisions any parent has to make. I want the reader to understand the depths of immaturity and lack of respect I had for my mother at the time. Also please understand that I had enough money to live on my own. I was being cheap so that I could buy nice clothes, drink, and go out anywhere I wanted. All of my immaturity and drinking lead to one of the hardest nights in my life. 10/2/2018 0 Comments POWER Before you read this post I want to be clear that it is not intended to make friends. I am going to lay out a strong opinion backed by personal experience and facts. I wholeheartedly agree that prosecutors who are caught lying, cheating, and abusing their power should be given the death sentence. Let me further explain. I have been blessed to donate to the Innocence Project. I got an e-mail from them last week that stated over 660 cases were found to have prosecutorial misconduct. Not to mention that 93% of the District Attorneys in this country are white males. My soulmate is white and we attend the African-American museum both wearing Harriet Tubman shirts. I have raised white children my whole life and I am a Christian. I believe that they are racist white people but I also know that their are white people I will go to my grave loving. I do not believe all white are racist. I believe it is the soul that what counts and not the pigment of someone's skin. However, there is no way that 93% that are white are all non-racist. I am expected to believe that 93% of these men are 100% honest, fair, and not racist. Look, I clearly understand that the world is tilted. If you are born white in this country you have a better chance at a good life than a minority. People fail to realize that slavery was over hundred-eds of years. That created generational wealth and generational poverty for families. That money went somewhere and I would tend to look at these fortune 500 companies. I truly believe that the foundation of the court system was formed from this time frame. If the jails are filled with predominantly minorities and 93% of district attorneys are white how is that fair? Fast forward to these corrupt district attorneys. When I say they should receive the death penalty people say I am crazy. I would ask them, "What is the penalty for ruining a family or creating a negative family cycle?" Meaning because of you abusing your power you took a father away from their family. That family was then transformed to the point of a single parent mother. Who then resorted to demeaning acts to provide for her children. That also lead to drug addiction and crime in the children. This began a cycle in that family of negative habits and fatherless situations. What is the penalty for that? People then say they made choices? Well maybe they are not as mentally as tough as you? The bottom line is that because someone abused their power it caused horrible things in their family. The system is also to blame at this problem. Police are given the power to press charges and then the D.A. is left to sort out the mess. "Throw the book at them and see what sticks." D.A.s careers are built off of conviction rates so when they receive cases they want to win. I honestly believe that those 660 cases are only what we found. The number is always higher than what we know. They should be examined by Harvard and then put to death in front of the town live on evening news. The executioner should say, "Does anyone else want to try." I am a firm believer that consequences stops behavior. 660 cases of misconduct is completely unacceptable. That means 660 people lives and freedom were forever changed. That means children were affected and for what: the love of POWER!
The love of money is the root of all evil- Proverbs. Recently our country has entered into historical conversations regarding corporate workplace cultures. Bill Cosby most notably has been one of the many to be exposed to horrific acts committed while in a position of authority. There is a consistent theme I continue to hear that I feel needs to be addressed. "Why did these women wait so long to come forward?" As I become older things that are so outrageous tend to leave me stuck. Let's take a look at another past event to put this into proper perspective. When the issues that were plaguing Penn St came to light, there was an immediate reaction to defend Joe Paterno. During that time I happen to live in the area and felt the reaction first hand. They had all the local television stations and breaking news on all the channels about the incident. What genuinely heart my heart was that people celebrated Joe and were on his front lawn in support of him. I felt as if I was watching a cult. I felt like he was receiving reverence like the Pope. I wish I could have been a reporter because I would have asked where the support for the victims is? Throughout this whole Cosby trial, one of the themes I heard in my walk of life is why did it take them so long. That was some of the same rhetoric I heard with the Penn St scandal. Have we gotten so bad as a society that when you come out matters more than the act? When is it ever the wrong time to do what is right? Why are we judging the victim for how they reacted to a crime and not directing that anger at the criminal? It is leading me to wonder has the power of corporate life and the money overrule what is right. Why is there a time limit on when a victim should come forward? People forget that we all have different pain tolerances. There is a reason why there are navy seals, football players, nurses, engineers, firefighters. Everyone is given a brain that can handle a different set of pain tolerance emotionally & physically. There is a reason I do motivational speaking, and my wife is a nurse. Why are we judging the reactions of the victims and not the actor of the crime? Why were there not protest in the middle of the street for days for the victims instead of the persons who committed the crimes? All I can think of is the power of money and corporate seats. I believe people think those that occupy those seats should be given a right of passage. Do not ruin a guy’s career over something that happens years ago. Well maybe I was in therapy, and I have finally gotten the courage to deal with the consequences they must face. Unfortunately, I know many rape victims and all they talk about the shame. They all talk about having to deal with the news and how they will be portrayed. No one’s job or money they make should ever come before the consequences they must face. I am so tired of money and power having the ruling over what is right. For every victim that was forgotten and portrayed wrongly just know they are people who want better for you.
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FrederickI will use this blog to write about life. Archives
December 2018
CategoriesAll Identity Reflection Research Project Revision Scene We Forget |
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